he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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