oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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