So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
