"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
