"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
