kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
