Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
