i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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