I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
