My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
