Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
