I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
