Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
