Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
