She said her name was "party"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
