Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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