So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
