My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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