I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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