she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
