And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
