i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
