apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The air was thick with penises
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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