he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
