Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
