I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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