I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
