we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
