Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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