Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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