Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
