reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
