Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
