I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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