if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
