can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
