WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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