Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
