wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
His nipple licking is glorious
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