Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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