I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What a dumb baby whore.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
