I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
