I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
