he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
