I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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