its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
3 2 1 whiskey
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
