u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
