she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think your dad took our porno
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
