we have pet lesbian snakes
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Randomize
