I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
