Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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